Free Write 1/15/13

There is a farris wheel. It's slow at the peak but speeds on its descend. The air around me is dark. I want to get off the farris wheel but I'm trapped inside. It keeps repeating. Around and around I'm dragged and I'm screaming that I want off. There is no ground beneath the farris wheel, there is no concrete state fair lot or carnival space. Everywhere around me is a dark abyss. And I cannot get off this farris wheel. My throat aches from screaming and there is a sour taste of panic in my mouth. I'm shaking and my sweating palms grip the iron bar that hold me down into the seat. My seat rises slowly, a sluggish ascend and it builds my anticipation. I know the tip is coming. I start to see the empty space present past the top of the wheel. Then I'm jerked downward, falling into a wirlwind of skrieches and terror before the seat swings at the curve and again there is a moment of calm as I begin the climb again. The repeat is maddening. The realization that this is eternal; a constant cycle of fast and slow and up and down and I'm strapped into the stream with no way of escape. There is no one in the darkness to hear my calls for help. There is no light.