Free Write 1/17/13

I can't always remember what he looks like. I remember he was taller than me but not by much at all. And I remember his hair was a strange median between blonde and brown. The boy I do remember had long hair. It came down and covered his ears. I remember an undefined chest and abdomen. But even if I try as hard as I can, his face is blank. It is a blurry mass with no eyes and no nose and no mouth. He is a faceless memory. It's odd to think that at a point that face was all I ever thought about. It was burned into my skull. I remember thinking 'how could I ever let this face go?' I never would have accepted it then if someone had told me one day I wouldn't remember what his face looks like. But now, its a relief. All that face holds for me now is pain. And maybe that's why it's blank in my head. I can't always remember what he looks like. But everything else is so sickeningly clear. All the memories and all the emotions. Those are painfully unforgettable.